"I wish you were a little bigger."
"I wish you were a little thinner."
"Can't you be more like her?"
"She's just my sideline. You know you're number one."
"I'd be more faithful if you gave me what I wanted."
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Ever heard any of these pathetic lines? These and many other words can be heard daily. Some males actually have the audacity to put these words in writing. And some women sadly have bought into these words. Let me be the first to tell you loud and clear: He loves you KNOT.
A true relationship is built on love and respect. In order for you to have a healthy relationship, there has to be a level of acceptance. In a healthy relationship, you are not a 'project ' to be worked on, but a person to be cherished. Should you want to look good? Should you want to be healthy? Of course you should. But those desires should first come from your own esteem. Sis, if you are only motivated when he's around to lose weight or look your best, what happens when the relationship ends? Your self-worth has got to start with how you see you. The best image of you comes from God. He says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. There's not a greater compliment in the world, in my opinion. If he doesn't look at you in awe, then he is KNOT the One. Don't get caugt up in changing for someone. Change and improve because it benefits you naturally and spiritually.
A true relationship is built on complements, not comparisons. The person you are in a healthy relationship should spend time finding your strengths, finding out how you complement one another. If they spend the majority of your time together making comparisons of you with other women, real or photoshop, there's going to be serious problems. You are NOT Beyonce, or J Lo. You can only be you. Changing yourself to fit an image will only damage you in the end. Be true to who you are: you may be a girly girl or a jeans and t-shirt woman. If he continually wants you to change your appearance to satisfy his ego or his fantasy, he is KNOT the One.
A true relationship is built on faithfulness, trust, and exclusivity. Yes, you may be able to do more than one thing at one time. But you cannot do more than ONE relationship at a time--or rather you shouldn't. Romantic relationships take time. It really is not wise to be in more than one relationship at a time. You should also take a break between relationships so that you can process what went wrong (if the relationship failed). I advocate courtship not dating, Period. Courtship is a focused, exclusive relationship with more in mind than just having fun and passing the time. Your time is precious! You relationship will only be taken as seriously as you take it. If he can breeze in and out of your life, call you at all times of the day and night, and interrupt your schedule whenever he feels like it, don't expect a committed relationship anytime soon. If you are second, alternate, or other in his life, he is KNOT the One.
A true relationship is a mutual give and take, not coercion. The person you are in a relationship should respect your values and principles, especially when it comes to your body. It is your temple, your sacred space, created by God. That's right. Don't allow anyone to force you to violate your own body. The Bible says that sexual sin is the sin we commit against ourselves. (I Cor. 6) Sex is not just physical and emotional. It is spiritual. Most pagan religions have always understood this about sex (hence temple prostitution in offering to false gods). A part of you joins with a part of the indivual you have sexual relations with. This is one reason why you should wait until marriage. For every partner that you have outside of marriage, you give a part of your spiritual self away. This is why many who are sexually active at a young age suffer from depression, and other ills. They have entered into something they had no full understanding of. A condom does not protect your emotions, or your spirit from the damage of violating a God- instituted principle. If he is pressuring you for sex outside of marriage, he is KNOT the One. Could he change? Sure, he could. Does God forgive us if we have violated this principle? If we repent, Yes, He does. If you are practicing sex outside of the marriage bed, STOP. If he cannot agree to a relationship without sex until marriage, he is KNOT the One.
Here is a real description of LOVE:
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
That's love. It's not a user. It's not an abuser. It's not an accuser.
Ladies, don't get tied up with the wrong one. Evaluate and make the necessary changes.
Much Love!
